Bums, Tums & Thighs – Day 7
You know when you’ve had a good old workout; you can’t walk down stairs or bend down the next day! I am now in this very position. This is because I voluntarily went to what can only be described as low-level torture session, disguised as a Bums, Tums and Thighs class yesterday at Lakeview Country Club.
Due to my gym phobia and a dislike of the horrible pre-class hanging around, when you don’t know anybody and you just look at your phone and wait for the instructor, I decided to invite my friend, Sarah along. Sarah is currently on a fitness drive and she is also great at photography, so could take some pictures.
Kai, the very lovely instructor, started with a “warm-up.” Now, a warm-up in my book is a gentle stretching but no, this was Kai’s warm-up, whereby we would run and sprint on the spot. The class progressed to all types of crunches, stretches and culminated in a “bear relay”. This was a personal low for me as I frolicked ungracefully like a monkey, with my arse in the air and my knees slightly bent. There is no picture of this: there will never be a picture of this.
Once our dignity was fully spent, we got to take a field trip outside to take some of the class in the fresh air. We were promised that it wouldn’t be in front of windows, as the thought of bear racing, in front of a holidaying family of four as they ate their dinner, made me queasy. We continued our punishing workout outside with the benefit of a slight breeze, which was more than welcome. At this point, I had mouthed “Sorry” to Sarah approximately half a dozen times.
Next, Kai ushered us in front of a steep bank and told us to sprint up and down it 5 times. Kai was relishing our reluctance and answered the groans by walking on his hands. We finished off with everybody’s nightmare – burpees! After skipping back to the class, we had 12 minutes left. Phew, I thought, a warm down. Oh no, no warm down; that happened 30 seconds to the end. This was where the phrase “no pain, no gain” comes in.
We concentrated on the thighs, as we hoisted one leg in the air and rotated it to start and then did several kicks, whilst still not letting it go down. I felt the cramps and as soon as Kai went to address the music situation and his back was turned, I lay sprawled flat out. When he turned back, I immediately resumed the pose. We finished the class with some yoga positions and we were done. Everybody looked suitably knackered.
As soon as I dropped Sarah home, I went to check what FitBit thought of my evening. Surely it would be pleased with me? Apparently, FitBit doesn’t measure pain and effort and told me patronisingly that I had moderately worked out. FitBit is now FitBitch!
The saving grace for my aches and pains is that I lost 2lbs – which is quite a triumph and would make me consider going back again. The first time must be the worst. It was also a good class for me, as it wasn’t rhythmic. This is where I know I struggle, so roll on Zumba.
Sarah must be really cross with me, though, as she has just sent me over the pictures and she has photoshopped in a couple of chins in the pictures, which is very naughty!
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